- By Flor Santamaría
Only He knows the melody
I knew today was going to be a special day. I was not sure why or what was going to happen but since very early I was calling for God. I felt that sensation, what they call the thirst for Him. I did my morning prayer with a bit more emphasis than normal and spent more time than normal too.
Then in the afternoon I went for a walk and decided to stop by a convent close to my place to buy a couple of beautiful rosaries that a nun, who is an artist, makes there.
I just think it is always good to have one at hand when you want to make a little present. My intention was to buy the items and leave, but I needed to make a quick stop to say hello to Jesus in the Tabernacle. They have a very cozy chapel there, and even if It was a quick visit, my heart got filled with some emotions under covered to my own knowledge.
After dinner, I attended Mass, again, the need for prayer was not gone. I thought it was because there are many intentions in my basket this days. But when I entered the Church I ran into tears. The more attention I payed to the mass, the stronger I cried. I cried because I suddenly thought about all the members of my family who has died in the last ten years. Yes, It has been so many. And then all the friends who has gone as well, all the people related to my friends too. Dozens!
I cried like a baby in the arms of Our Lord. And while listening the Our Father prayer " Thy will be done" I could understand His size.
I wouldn't complaint, no even when some of my relatives died in very sad conditions, not when the nature of my job would keep me close to situations of sadness, horror and injustice. Not either when my fears about death come to hunt me.
It seemed I just needed a hug today, I didn't even realized how much I needed it, but He knew. The inner voice only audible for Him was saying: "Daddy it hurts". Only He knows our real needs, even those we are not aware of. After mass I stayed for a little while in the church and I thanked Him for his tenderness.
On my way home it was blowing, the sky warning for the rain. In the back yard of a house dedicated to help people with mental illness, they were having a sing along, while I walked listening them singing, I concluded that, every moment is a piece of the great symphony He has created for each one of us.
Like notes written in the staff, God is making a composition out of us and He wants it to be beautiful and perfect because He is perfection. We must sound like He wants us to sound keeping the style He decided for each individual, and we also can graciously dance!
Mother Mary, in the meanwhile, is there to blow the wounds the road will produce in order to make us grow in tone and beauty, and also to rock us and sing the perfect lullaby that only her, as the perfect mother can. The unique lullaby God gave her, for each of us